Now I’m a strong, strong heart.

Thank You for Hearing Me, by Sinead O'Connor, 1994 (song), and Nothing Compares, directed by Kathryn Ferguson, 2022 (documentary)

The world rallied behind Sinead O’Connor in 1990 when she released her masterpiece rendition of Prince’s “Nothing Compares 2 U.”

It shot straight to number 1 on the charts in 13 countries, including the U.S. and O’Connor’s native Ireland, and was eventually named Billboard’s “#1 World Single” for 1990.

I was in fifth grade when her minimalistic but emotionally charged video hit MTV and VH1. Paula Abdul, Bell Biv Devoe, Wilson Phillips, and Whitney Houston were some of the artists topping the charts at the time.

Then here come the haunting tones (strings?). A woman walking through maybe a graveyard, dressed all in black, big boots, early morning, late fall.

The stark image of a face … powdery skin, black background, all eyes.

“It’s been seven hours and 15 days, since you took your love away.”

All heart.

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Then, two years later, just as quickly as we got behind her, the world turned against O’Connor when she tore up a picture of the pope on SNL.

There were death threats. Radio stations banned her music. Frank Sinatra said he wanted to kick her ass.

Finicky, terrible public.

As we all now know, O’Connor was right about the Catholic church. They were hiding some ugly secrets that have since come to light involving decades of sexual abuse against children, as well as coverups attempted by high-ranking church officials, including by moving accused priests to other parishes.

I think we all agree that tearing up a photograph doesn’t seem so bad after all.

In fact, it was brilliant.

She did this at the height of her fame, and some people have no doubt wondered how much she lost due to it.

I think she’d say “nothing.”

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Looking back, maybe the whole world wasn’t against O’Connor. Maybe it just seemed that way to me, as a kid, watching too much MTV News.

I was raised Catholic, and regarding The Great Tear-Up, I remember a couple of family members saying things like, “Isn’t that ridiculous?” – not necessarily against O’Connor, but certainly not for her. I remember learning about the child abuse allegations and praying they weren’t true, but not feeling at all good about it.

It was right around this time when my mom gave me the choice to keep going to church or to stop. The only things I liked about Catholic mass were the music and the candles. So I stopped going.

I was also entering my teenage years. My music tastes switched from pop to punk and harder rock.

Now I can’t help but wonder just how much of an impact O’Connor had on me.

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Turns out, O’Connor was probably the perfect person to tear up a picture of the pope.

She has said she was very religious as a child, growing up in a devoutly Catholic family in Ireland. Like some children in the church, O’Connor herself had also been the victim of child abuse, by her mother’s hand and possibly others’.

Like by the people she saw abuse children at the Magdalene asylum, Grianan Training Center, where she was sent to live when she was 15, which she talks about in the new, award-winning documentary of her life, "Nothing Compares," directed by Kathryn Ferguson.

Maybe that’s why, in the majority of her music before NC2U, she’s often yelling. Scream therapy?

While she might have been the perfect person to speak out against the Catholic church, she was also a pretty ideal target for hate.

Shaving off her hair was a f#*@ you to the music industry and its, and the world’s, beauty standards. It wasn’t her fault that, hair or no hair, she was still gorgeous. And of course, deeply talented, courageous, eloquent, and smart.

A person Donald Trump would call a “nasty woman,” no doubt.

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It was jarring to learn in the documentary that O’Connor's mother locked her outside for a week once when she was just 10 years old, forcing her to live alone in the garden behind the house.

She mostly remembers trying to keep warm, and peeking into the windows hoping to catch her mom’s eye and earn some sympathy, only to have the shades drawn on her.

“All the flowers that you planted, momma, in the backyard, all died when you went away.”

O’Connor was 18 when her mom, drunk, and having battled untreated mental illness for most of her life, died in a car accident.

O'Connor wishes she could have helped her – “nobody helped her,” she says in "Nothing Compares."

Maybe that feeling is what moved O'Connor to speak out against the Catholic church, for the children who weren't being heard and for the children who were at risk of being abused.

Maybe it’s time to give O’Connor’s music another listen.

Thank You for Hearing Me

Thank you for hearing me Thank you for hearing me Thank you for hearing me Thank you for hearing me

Thank you for loving me Thank you for loving me Thank you for loving me Thank you for loving me

Thank you for seeing me Thank you for seeing me Thank you for seeing me Thank you for seeing me

And for not leaving me And for not leaving me And for not leaving me And for not leaving me

Thank you for staying with me Thank you for staying with me Thank you for staying with me Thank you for staying with me

Thanks for not hurting me Thanks for not hurting me Thanks for not hurting me Thanks for not hurting me

You are gentle with me You are gentle with me You are gentle with me You are gentle with me

Thanks for silence with me Thanks for silence with me Thanks for silence with me Thanks for silence with me

Thank you for holding me And saying I could be Thank you for saying "Baby" Thank you for holding me

Thank you for helping me Thank you for helping me Thank you for helping me Thank you, thank you for helping me

Thank you for breaking my heart Thank you for tearing me apart Now I'm a strong, strong heart Thank you for breaking my heart