Who's gonna make it right, when the good ones are to blame?

in defense of my own happiness, by Joy Oladokun, 2021 (album)

Sometimes finding your path is about “putting the energy that you would want to be put into you back into the world,” singer-songwriter Joy Oladokun told 1A’s Jenn White early in 2021, prior to the June 4 release of the second part of her two-part album, “in defense of my own happiness.”

The daughter of Nigerian immigrants, Oladokun grew up in a farming town in Arizona and was often the only Black person in the room. She also belonged to a church where being gay was unacceptable.

“I grew up Evangelical Christian, and I worked in the church for a few years. I came out of the closet in 2016, and then I started dating someone in 2018. I was starting to become more confident and comfortable with posting about my personal life on the internet. With that came this backlash [from] people who felt ownership over my life a little bit, because of the role I played in the church and in their faith system, who were unhappy with the fact that I was in love and had a dog in Nashville, you know, my toxic behavior. [laughs] And I realized that there was something in me that wanted to apologize for being happy. There was something in me that didn’t believe I deserved to be happy. … I would question things that were safe and good and beautiful. So the album was sort of an exploration of How do I get out of my own way in terms of letting myself experience happiness? And also How do I craft a life that is honoring and respectful and powerful, but doesn’t bend to the expectations of others?”

Having attended “Bible college,” and having worked in the church for years as a worship and music pastor, Oladokun says she is still coming to terms with breaking from a religious community that didn’t align with who she is.

“If God exists, they don’t care who you kiss – they care how you treat them. One of the biggest things that has gotten lost in this Evangelical ego culture of converting people to whatever you think is right is that, the core of everything Jesus ever said when he was on this planet was about loving other people, treating other people right. It was about social equity. None of it had to do with ‘Boys kissing boys makes me uncomfy.’”

Through her music, Oladokun aims to empower others to step into their true selves, love whomever they choose, and celebrate their own uniqueness.

“When you have that liberation of I am just going to continue to be myself, in my full power, in divinity and care and truth, then a lot of doors open that wouldn’t have opened otherwise – doors to better rooms than the ones you were trying to fit into.”

Good news: Oladokun is touring this April and May, and will probably be in (or very near) your city.

Follow Joy Oladokun on her website.

Lyrics from “who do I turn to?”

“I’m tired, of watching my kind Be accused while they’re young and they’re innocent I’m tired of turning on the news And wondering why it happened again No one’s putting out the fire They only fan the flame Tell me who’s gonna make it right When the good ones are to blame?

If I can’t save myself If it’s all black and white If I can’t call for help In the middle of the night If I can’t turn to God And I can’t turn to you Who do I turn to? Who do I turn to?

Who’s gonna watch over me? Who do I turn to?”

Lyrics from “breathe again”

“Follow me down where the waters run deep I’ll let you drown in the worst of me If my intentions are good why can’t I come clean? If heaven’s above where does that leave me?

Am I looking for revival? Am I dressed in others’ sin? Hold my breath until I’m honest Will I ever breathe again?

When the world’s so heavy I can’t stand I close my eyes and start again Though my heart is in my hands I won’t break, give me faith to bend.”